posted on 29 May 2018

The Knights and the Best Quest by Kaye Umansky

I expect you’ve heard of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table and you probably associate them with tales of great deeds and chivalry but can you imagine what that story would be like if it happened in another dimension? And, more than that, a dimension in which all these Knights are absolutely hopeless? Well, that’s sort of what Kaye Unmansky gives you in her new book, The Knights and the Best Quest.

Artie and Gwinny, king and queen of Castle Llamalot, are hosts to the Knights of the Drop-Leaf Table and they’ve decided to offer an old silver goblet as a prize for the quest their Knights have decided to undertake. But these Knights are not – how shall we put it – from the top drawer. You wont be surprised to here that Sir Prancelot, Sir Gary, Sir Tralahad, Sir Bore de Gannet, Sir Percy are not the sort of Knight you'd want turning up to save you from a terrifying dragon.The only one who seems to have any idea what they’re doing is Sir Angela ( who everyone pretends they haven't noticed isn't a man).

And, their horses are even worse – Gnasher, who bites; Lightning, who has the speed of a snail; Stop-A-Lot, who is a bit of a hippy; Breakwind, need we say more; Loud Winnie, the most nervous horse in the world; and, Elton, the sane, well-tempered one (and who is naturally the horse Sir Angela gets to ride).

They are fortified by a huge packed lunch calculated to last them for three arduous days of questing - and so when they are eventually sent on their way there’s only one question on everyone's lips – will they be back in time for tea?

Unmasky’s Knights dither and prevaricate, eat sandwiches, lounge around by pools, eat sandwiches, run away from dragons, eat sandwiches and trail back home because they can maybe feel a bit of rain in the air and, as they sagely observe, who wants to get wet when you’re wearing armour that can rust?

So in the end no-one wins the prize of the old silver goblet – but it wasn’t really too much of a disaster because as Queen Gwinny tells King Artie:

“After they’d stopped shouting about points and who’d got the worst horse, it all went a bit flat. They seemed - a bit low. So I asked Mrs Spunge to take them leftover trifle from tea. And I sent Aggie along with that box of chocolates that the King of Italy sent us. It’s too big for just the two of us. I hope it cheers them up.”

 

This is another big-hearted book from the Barrington Stoke super-readable series that has the substantial bonus of illustrations by the excellent Ben Whitehouse. His full page black and white drawings give the story another dimension. I particularly like the way his lantern-jawed baby dragon stares up at two Knights who look like they’ve escaped straight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail – a fitting reference for a book full of chuckles.

Terry Potter

May 2018